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Importance of female friendship by Margaret Chandler

18/8/2019

I have recently returned from a trip to Canada,where I met up with my penpal Julie, who I'd corresponded with for 50 years, since we were both 10 year old Girl Guides. We'd met each other as 15 year olds in 1974 and again briefly in 2001, but this was the first time we'd met in Canada, thus fulfilling a childhood promise we made to meet one day in Prince Edward Island (PEI), the setting for one of our favourite novels 'Anne of Green Gables'. This is the 1908 novel by LM Montgomery, telling the story of the redhaired orphan Anne Shirley and the friendship with her 'kindred spirit' Diana.

Julie and I had a wonderful time exploring PEI together, visiting Green Gables, seeing Anne the musical and immersing ourselves in the landscape which inspired the novel. We had time to get to know each other more intimately and catch up with each others lives over the past 50 years, and despite some prior reservations about whether we'd get along, these worries proved unfounded.

Since returning, rather reluctantly, to the UK, it's given me time to reflect on the power and importance of female friendship and support. Despite celebrating my 37th wedding anniversary recently and having shared both good and challenging times with my husband, it has always been my female friends that have been a constant in my life, especially when life has been toughest.

I am always indebted to the NCT mums who were there during the early days of motherhood, when sleep was in short supply and the days and nights seemed to merge into one. You saved my sanity on many an occasion!

The most traumatic time of my life was being diagnosed with Womb Cancer over 6 years ago. I'd not heard of the disease before diagnosis and knew nobody with the condition even when I joined a Gynae Cancer Support Group. The lack of support and isolation took a toll on my mental health and I was referred to the local Psycho-Oncology Service where my health began to improve. However the most important support for me came from the virtual world, when I discovered WCSUK by chance whilst scrolling through Facebook 15 months after my diagnosis. It was at this point I realised I was not alone. These women knew exactly what I was going through and the true road to recovery began for me.

I was able to return to my Latin Fitness Camp Dance Class, a group of fun, supportive women who have joined me on several Race for Life events, raising money for Cancer Research. Since diagnosis and as part of my recovery, I have taken up cycling and become a member of Leicester Women's Velo. This group has helped me raise awareness of Womb Cancer on 2 annual bike rides during September, and have helped me reach cycling goals I could only dream of.

Finally I am so grateful to have recovered both physically and mentally from Womb Cancer that I was able to make this very special trip to Canada, an experience I will treasure for the rest of my life!

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Womb Cancer and I - by Reija Kime

11/8/2019

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I was diagnosed with womb cancer in March this year. At 42-years old, I had thought I was way too young to have womb cancer - wasn't it something that affected women past their menopause? Turns out it isn't and since being diagnosed I have come across many, way too many women of my age and younger, who have been affected by womb cancer.

Before I was diagnosed with womb cancer, I was very unaware of the range of symptoms that can be a sign of cancer in the womb and it is only afterwards that I have come to realise that there were plenty of signs; I just didn't know them. Didn't associate them with cancer at all and that is why we need to raise as much awareness about womb cancer as we possibly can.

I first went to the doctor last autumn. For a while I had been having longer and heavier periods and then the pain started as well. It was definitely time to go to see my GP. But still I didn't think there was anything in particular wrong with me. I thought the changes in my periods were linked to getting older and an approaching menopause (happens early in my family). So I wasn't that worried when I booked an appointment. However, I did choose a doctor at the practise, who is specialised in women's 'problems' and who I felt would look into the causes of the changes properly and not just prescribe a solution. Maybe it was sixth sense or whatever you choose to call it that made me choose her.

And she was brilliant. She referred me to a gynaecologist straight away. And in the meantime gave me some pills to help with the excessive bleeding and pain (however, these didn't really help that much; I found that regular painkillers worked better for me). She also put me on some iron tablets as I was severely anaemic due to the heavy bleeding.

I then had a few months wait for the gynaecologist's appointment during which time the periods got even longer and heavier and I was taking painkillers nearly every day even when there was no bleeding.

My gynaecologist appointment finally arrived early this year and in it they could tell that the lining of my womb had thickened and decided to refer me to a further exam where they could look at it in more detail and take a biopsy. I faced another wait. And consumed more painkillers.

From the second appointment where they took the biopsy everything seemed to go really quickly and now, when I look back, it is all a bit of a blur. I remember going back to the hospital to hear the results for my second exam. My partner came with me. So far I had attended the appointments by myself but some reason (perhaps it was the sixth sense again) I felt that I needed him with me for this appointment. And I was right.

I could tell from the doctor's demeanour straight away that the news weren't good. He had explained to me the possibility of cancer the last time I had seen him but I had not really thought it would really be cancer - how could it. Again, I was only 42! He explained to us that it was cancer and that I would need to have CT and MRI scans to establish whether it had spread and what treatment would be needed - other than a hysterectomy, which I would definitely need to have.

Within a few weeks from that appointment I had had my scans and was meeting with an oncologist, who explained in detail the operation I was going to have: a radical hysterectomy. To be honest, I had to Google it once I got home, as, even though he explained it all to me, I couldn't really take it all in. He also asked me what my plans were for next Friday and told me to cancel them whatever they might be - I would be having surgery then. So we were moving quickly. Much more quickly than it took the fact that I had cancer to sink in. To become reality. Although there are still plenty of times when all this just seems so surreal.

Eventually the news did (kind of) sink in - I had cancer and I was going to have to have my womb removed (thank God I didn't want any children) and possibly would need further treatment, too. My oncologist had mentioned the possibility of further treatment following the surgery but we had not gone into detail; they would have a look at what was needed after the surgery. For my part I was happy to focus on getting through one thing at a time; I would face whatever might come after the surgery. The idea of having major surgery was scary enough, let alone the thought of chemo after.

My surgery went really well and so did the recovery from it. Within just a week after it I was able to move about with ease and actually had to keep reminding myself not to do too much and cause myself damage. And by the time my follow up appointment with the oncologist came around, I was feeling very positive. Partly because I had read that often a
hysterectomy was all that was needed to treat cancer of the womb and I wanted to believe that this would be the case with me as well.

But it wasn't to be. Because the cancer had had a chance to spread to lymph nodes, I was going to need a course of chemo and radiation therapy. Now of course I knew of chemo and the side-effects from that but I had not been aware that radiation therapy was also used to treat cancer (how blissfully ignorant I was). It was explained to me that though there were no visible signs of disease after the surgery, I would need to have six courses of chemo followed by five weeks of radiation therapy and two sessions of brachytherapy to ensure that all the disease was gone and to stop it from recurring.

I have now had five courses of chemotherapy and only one remains (yay!). The hair is long gone but other than that it honestly hasn't been too bad. I know I am lucky with having had minimal side-effects; I have not been feeling nauseous at all and other than the hair loss, tiredness and a strange, sort of restless feeling in my legs a few days after a treatment, I have been feeling fine. In fact, thanks to the lifestyle changes I have made and not being in constant pain due to heavy bleeding, I am actually (ironically) feeling better than I have felt in a long time. I am now looking after myself properly, exercising and eating healthily and I know that I am going to beat this cancer.

Having mentioned minimal side-effects there is one thing that I have been suffering from: menopausal symptoms. Especially the hot flushes. I keep waking up at night drenched in sweat. And have several moments each day when I perspire heavily. But this will pass. I am willing to endure whatever I need to in order to be well again. And indeed, the last CT scan I had showed a fantastic response to the treatment; knowing that it is working makes it easier to remain positive!

This week I have had my planning scan for the radiation. I had to have it twice because the first time my bowels weren't properly empty; the second time was better and radiology team is now busy preparing my radiation treatment, which will start after a short recovery period after the final chemo, which is two weeks tomorrow. I know that I still have challenging weeks ahead with the radiation but right now I am looking forward to be able to say: chemo done!
And I am truly, impatiently looking forward to October when all my treatments will be done and dusted and normal life can (slowly) resume again.

In the meantime (and after as well, of course) I want to keep raising awareness of womb cancer because had I been aware of all the symptoms, I might have been fine with 'just' a hysterectomy and not needed chemo and radiation. It is vital to know the symptoms because, as with any type of cancer, the earlier it is discovered, the more effective the treatment will be.

If you wish to read more about my experiences and thoughts around cancer and many things related (and some not so related) - do check my blog

: https://letstalkaboutcword.blogspot.com/.

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Life after Cancer by Kelly Kolkiewicz

4/8/2019

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“This too shall pass” is a quote often used to console people in times of trouble. I hate it. In the long term, of course, we all pass and that’s the end of things for us (I’m saying this as an atheist). But in the short term, no, this hasn’t passed. I suffered from uterine cancer and the fact that I can’t have my own family will never pass. I have to live with it.
I have lost plenty of friends to cancer and have been/am numb with loss and grief. I remember a doctor soon after my diagnosis writing what I said to her in my medical notes “I have lost a lot of things”. What I meant was I have lost my health, my trust in my (previously very healthy) body, my peace of mind, the future I thought I was going to have as a newly-wed. I lost the ability to have fun, I was depressed, could no longer find joy in things. I cried every day for pretty much 2 years. Not all the time, but at odd moments, and still do. But how do you live with the after-effects of cancer? I’ve had to carve a life of moments and experiences and to find meaning and friendships that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. No, being ill was never a good thing, but some good things came out of it. I want to share with you what has helped me, because I was lost and felt I was floundering, but you can get through these things, and if you don’t, you can make things better for yourself and others along the way.

1. The best thing I did was join a support group. I was never a “join a group” or “talk about it” kind of person so I’m not sure why I did, but it was local to me, so I gave it a try. For information, it was “ The Healing Journey” at Paul’s Cancer Support Group in Battersea. At first it was a nightmare come true, all sat in a semi-circle and asked to talk about things (if we wanted to). Initially I didn’t take part, but the ladies running the group were experienced and compassionate and I soon realised that the more I took part in the (structured) discussions, the more I got out of it. I quickly made friends with more than a few of the participants and these friendships have survived to this day (10 years and counting) and are less and less about cancer and more and more about just being friends, which I am very proud of. This group of friends all know what going through cancer is like, even if the journey has been different for all of us. I found this very helpful, because obviously my non-affected friends could not understand (and I would not want them to). I worried that I turned into a nasty friend at the time, when a friend of mine was telling me about her visit to the dentist, I was thinking “I just don’t care about this, why do you think I want to hear about it?”. But then you want your friends to talk about normal stuff, and then you don’t. Most of the time I had no idea what I wanted or needed, and the weekly support group gave a structure to the week, with the odd bit of homework to think about and focus on.

2. I found just having a small thing to look forward to at the end of the working day was helpful. I had 3 months off work and was “strongly encouraged” to go back to work before I was ready (for instance I couldn’t bend down or stand for long and my commute and job were quite physical). I hated being at work. But what helped for me was planting some vegetable seeds at home, then when I got home, I pottered in the garden with small tasks and was able to look forward to this time in the day. For other people, it may be meeting a friend, or sewing, drawing or cooking. I would suggest anything other than watching TV, i.e. anything that takes a bit of focus and something practical.

3. I find writing about things helped to focus my mind and order my thoughts. Not while going through treatment, but afterwards. I knew at the time that once my treatment was over I would struggle mentally. It was as if my mind had boxed away all feelings to deal with later. It was a very definite feeling. Keeping a vague journal/weekly update helped to “file” the experiences and create a narrative which I still continue as a blog (Life after Cancer tips). It’s for me rather than anyone else, but if it helps other people, then I’m grateful.

4. In a similar vein to the above, I decided I would be open about my experiences to raise awareness of symptoms. If I had known that having night sweats was a sign of cancer, I may have mentioned it earlier to my doctor. I also had other symptoms that were troubling but my doctors put down to my age (39? Is that “an age?”) and the fact I had polycystic ovaries. I had abnormally long, heavy periods and a clear discharge for approximately a year, then as I was being tested prior to starting IVF treatment, the doctors “found something” during a routine scan. By giving talks to doctors, nurses and other patients, I was able to share my experiences and feel that something positive could come out of them. I know this is not something everyone would feel like doing, but plenty of my fellow sufferers have been proud to do such things. Try it, you may surprise yourself. Sharing experiences on blogs like these is a good way to do it anonymously if you prefer.

5. I sat down and really thought about what I would like to do in my life. I decided the thing I really wanted to see was baby turtles hatching from a nest. I planned a trip to Sri Lanka with my husband to do just that. In the past, I would never have considered such an exotic (and expensive) holiday but I loved EVERY second of it. I didn’t see turtles hatching that time, but I saw a turtle laying eggs and also leopards, elephants and all kinds of exotic things, smelled frangipani flowers for the first time, ate fantastic spicy food, learned about Buddhism and just had a whale of a time. I still wanted to see turtles hatching so later planned trips to Mexico, Turkey and St. Lucia with my mum. We did see them in the end, cried because it was so fantastic, and also had great holidays and experiences together. I’m not saying that it’s necessary to spend money to do what you want, but have a think about what would really make you happy. Actually, for my mum and I, it’s just spending time together and sharing a bottle of wine. Wildlife is a bonus. But tailor your thinking to you circumstances.

6. I joined a local community garden group to meet people who knew nothing about me and just to bring a bit of meaning to my weekends. I made some great friends and as a bonus we have created a beautiful garden for wildlife in a neglected part of Wandsworth. Anyone can visit and I get great pleasure from seeing people and their children/pets/other wildlife living in the space we created. As a bonus, I take photos and wrote a monthly newsletter and that increased my determination to improve my wildlife photography, so later took a local photography course.

7. Having had cancer has made me a stronger person but a person more open to new experiences and more open generally. I tell people about my experiences. This was something I couldn’t do at first. I couldn’t mention “womb cancer” without crying. But the first time I did it without crying felt like a step forward. Something that someone told me that I remember on a bad day is “you’re probably tired”, and that is often true. Be kind to yourself, accept it’s not the best day. Healing isn’t a straight line of “improvements”, you have good and bad days, ups and downs. Just like life.

I want to thank Kaz for her hard work in raising awareness and support for other ladies like me. There is so much to do, but by helping each other we will get there.

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My story of womb cancer by J.C

2/8/2019

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April 15th 2019, I attended my routine smear test, I had no symptoms present. The smear test was unusually painful and I bled afterwards and continued to bleed daily, albeit slightly, I thought to myself that maybe the test had triggered a menstrual bleed; god knows what I was thinking because I'm 54 and not bled for 3 years!!. Anyways my results came back normal, phew! I thought it sensible to book a doctor's appointment to get this bleed checked out .
Begining of May, I was fastracked to gynaecology for an ultrasound which did show abnormal thickness 28mm in 3 areas, I was then scheduled for biopsy by general anesthesia on 23rd May.

I was really looking forward to my family holiday in Turkey on 1st June and hoping my results would be back before but was advised it could take up to 2 weeks!! I had to make a decision to stay or go if the results were not ready.
Well after thinking it over I decided whatever the result, I will deal with it if need be whilst sunning it in Turkey so off we went and to be honest I still enjoyed my time and it shifted my focus. At the begining of my second week my Consultant rang me and asked if I had someone with me, at this point I knew it wasn't the news I was hoping for but it was the news I was expecting, He very calmly explained I had womb cancer and for me to continue my holiday and he would arrange an appointment with him when I returned.
My poor family were more upset than I was, I never really cried and felt surprisingly calm, maybe a protective response but I began to think logically,"I will be ok","it's a process I have to go through" "I will take everyday as it comes" and try not to "overthink". I said to everyone, wipe you faces we have our table booked and we will have a good night, And it was!!🥂After all, I finally had my long awaited answer and the ball was now rolling.

I returned home on June 15th but I was surprised that my operation date was not until July 15th - 4 very long weeks later, what a drag I just wanted this out of me pronto! So I kept myself busy doing my office job and staying positive doing meditation🧘, breath work, reading and Reiki which have been part of my everyday life for 20+ years and I really believe this has helped me through all of this along with my amazing supporting family and friends. I feel we are all even closer than ever #blessings

The operation went well and it looks like the cancer was well contained, I had my womb, ovaries and cervix removed, I was not in too much discomfort, and I went home the following day. The first few days I was uncomfortable with wind pain and tenderness but after the 4th day I started to feel pretty good, with no complications.
I am now 14 days post op and feeling more energetic daily. I will have my final appointment on 7th August to find out the hystology report and fingers crossed no further treatment will be necessary.
I feel really lucky, although changed in some way, I have always been a bit of a procrastinator but now I feel sure my bucket list will have lots of ticks on it

10th day post op, a gentle walk on the beach as the sun set 💜

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Importance of female friendship by Margaret Chandler

Womb Cancer and I - by Reija Kime

Life after Cancer by Kelly Kolkiewicz

My story of womb cancer by J.C

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