Womb Cancer Support UK
  • Home
  • About Us
    • My Story
  • Awareness & Support
    • What is Womb Cancer?
    • Can womb cancer be prevented?
    • How you can help!
    • Share your story
    • Awareness Leaflets etc
    • Awareness Month
    • Peach Postcard Project
  • Blog
  • Useful Links
    • Local Support Groups
  • Contact

Plan B - by C.J

22/2/2016

4 Comments

 
This is another of our Peach Sisters sharing her story.

"At 25 years of age, I'd always assumed that one day I'd settle down and have kids. After all, that is what society expects of us isn't it? Little did I know, my life as I knew it was about to be turned upside down.
October 26th 2012, the day that changed my life forever. 'You've got Womb Cancer' they said. 'You'll need to have a hysterectomy'. As I sat down with my surgeon to discuss options I was informed that because I was single, the option to have my eggs frozen was not available to me.
Looking back, I probably could have paid to have this done privately but everything passed in such a blur, it didn't even occur to me at the time. Two weeks later there I was, waiting to go into theatre, waiting to have my future ripped out of me.
After surgery, I remember having a pretty dramatic meltdown on the ward, emotionally, I was a mess. The poor nurses didn't know what to do with me as I couldn't explain what was wrong.
The grief hit me immediately. A feeling of loss. But how could I have lost something I'd never had? It's hard to put into words but I came across this quote that pretty much sums it up,

"The English language lacks the words 'to mourn an absence.' For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child or friend we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not. Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only 'I am sorry for your loss.' But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness. For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives. Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?" - Laura Bush.

I was mourning. Mourning the life I thought I would have. We've all at some point imagined what our future might look like. Imagined what it might feel like to be pregnant and bring life into the world. The hardest thing is knowing that everything you'd imagined was now never going to happen.
I'd never know what it feels like to have a life growing and kicking inside me. I'd never hear a tiny heartbeat. I'd never open a Mother's Day card or hear a little voice call me 'mum'.
I will miss out on so many firsts. First scan, first kick, first Christmas, first birthday, first day at nursery. The list goes on.
In a world that expects women to grow up, get married and have babies, facing childlessness is incredibly difficult. I wish I could say it gets easier. Days, weeks or months can pass and I'll be fine but then something will hit me like a truck and push me right back to square one, whether it be Mother's Day, Christmas, a silly 'challenge' on Facebook, an insensitive comment. There will always be something to remind me that I'll never quite fit in.

If I have learnt anything throughout all this it is that there is very little support for people facing infertility after cancer and it seems to be a subject that people just don't want to talk about or understand, which can make it an incredibly isolating experience. I am now faced with a new journey on a completely different path. I hope that one day I will find my place but at the moment it feels like I will always be on the outside trying to figure out my 'plan B'. I hope that one day I will find meaning without children."

If you are facing similar issues then you can find help and support here

If you would be willing to share your story then please contact me at wcsuk@hotmail.co.uk

xx Kaz xx

4 Comments

Sex and relationships after womb cancer

13/2/2016

10 Comments

 
We are very grateful to Samantha Evans from Jo Divine for this guest blog post.

Cancer of the womb (uterus) is a common cancer that arises from the endometrium (the lining of the uterus or womb) and affects the female reproductive system. It's also called uterine cancer and endometrial cancer. 
Despite being the fourth most common cancer in females in the UK, many women are not being offered appropriate advice about sexual health problems that can occur during and following treatment, impacting upon their sex lives. 


Having womb cancer impacts on your sex life, with many women experiencing sexual problems that affect their relationships, as well as their ability to enjoy sexual intimacy and pleasure. 
Regaining your sex life can take time and it may not feel the same as it did before cancer treatment. Some couples find that it can be better as they become more intimate, something that may have been missing from their relationship before treatment, but sadly many women and couples struggle to enjoy sex. 

Talking about your problems with your partner and doctor is important but some women find their partners feel uncomfortable discussing their sex life. Meanwhile, many healthcare professionals discuss sexual problems before or after cancer treatment with their patients, but don’t offer practical solutions and may be unsympathetic to their needs. 

Talking to each other about sexual concerns and finding ways in which to overcome them can be good, but some couples struggle to have these conversations. Being referred for counselling can help, but often the waiting list can be long.
 
Many healthcare professionals (HCPs) will tell you that they find it hard to talk about sex with their patients, yet it’s even harder for women to raise some of their problems with their doctor for fear of being dismissed or told they’ll just have to put up with it! 

At Jo Divine we are trying to help HCPs by giving talks to doctors, nurses, physiotherapists and other HCPs to help them offer suitable advice about how to overcome these problems.  
There are so many ways in which people can enjoy sex after cancer through exploring different pathways to sexual pleasure and intimacy, yet many HCPs fail to offer this advice 
and don’t recommend support groups and websites like Jo Divine, that has over 300 sexual health and pleasure articles in the online magazine. Having a nursing background, I’ve written many of the articles to offer simple, practical advice and products that can help sexual health issues.
  

Some HCPs are extremely innovative and offer great advice but there is a huge variation in the standard and level of advice being offered and recommended across the UK.  

At the request of a consultant urogynaecologist and women’s health physiotherapist, and in consultation with them about products, we created a health brochure that can be given to women containing sex toys, lubricants and pelvic floor exercisers that can help with a whole range of gynaecological problems such as vaginal tightness, vaginal dryness, postoperative scarring, decreased sexual sensations and symptoms of the menopause that can and do occur after womb cancer treatment. 

We also work with women’s health physiotherapists who give out our brochure and do an amazing job of helping women overcome sexual problems caused by cancer treatment. 
We have several psychosexual counsellors recommending our health brochure who also work with cancer patients and their partners to help them alleviate their sexual issues by offering a variety of therapies that can help. Couples counselling is also invaluable when dealing with the loss of your fertility and not being able to have children. 

With a combination of help and treatment from a range of HCPs and self help through using sex toys and lubricants, you can enjoy good sexual pleasure and intimacy.
 

Undergoing a hysterectomy can leave the vagina feeling shorter and tighter, making sex painful or uncomfortable. HCPs will offer medical dilators to help stretch the tissues of the vagina but many women dislike them as they  feel very clinical and uncomfortable  to use and fail to continue using them.  

At Jo Divine we recommend using medical dilators with a vibrator. Used in  conjunction,   dilators and vibrators offer different experiences for many women. Medical dilators can help to stretch the tight tissues of the vagina whilst a vibrator can promote blood flow to the healing tissues and feel pleasurable too, especially on the clitoris. 

If you struggle with dilators, consider trying a slim vibrator to begin with, and move onto a slightly bigger product. Once you have overcome any vaginal tightness, you’ll have a few sex toys to play with!
 

Some women consider using a vibrator as too sexual and prefer to use medical dilators to treat their condition. However, many women feel as if their body gets hijacked by HCPs during cancer treatments and they are no longer in control.They just want to feel sexual again after undergoing months, if not years of medical treatment and surgical intervention, and for them, using a vibrator is a less clinical way to enjoy sexual pleasure and intimacy again. 
Once you have overcome any vaginal tightness, medical dilators get thrown away but a vibrator can continue to be incorporated into your sex play, either alone or with your partner, adding greater sexual pleasure into your relationship. 


Having a total hysterectomy or radiotherapy will send you into a medical or surgical menopause and can cause a decrease in vaginal secretions, making you feel less lubricated during sex. 
One of the most common complaints during the menopause, vaginal dryness, can affect nearly all women, young or old, at some time during their life. Many women are too embarrassed to discuss the problem or seek help. Yet, using lubricants makes sex feel more pleasurable and last longer both for men and women.

Vaginal moisturisers and lubricants are probably the one thing your doctor will prescribe and many women use them, both prescribed and over the counter which can help their symptoms. If you find your lubricant isn’t helping, switch to another one. There are several different products available on prescription so find one that suits you. 

We recommend YES organic lubricants as they are very similar to the natural secretions of the vagina, pH balanced to the pH of the vagina and completely organic. YES water based is available on prescription but not the oil based formulation. If the water based formulation isn’t helping, try the oil based lubricant which is thicker  and lasts longer, however,   like all oil based lubricants, it isn’t condom safe.
 

You may wish to consider a silicone based lubricant which feels more slippy. Silicone based lubricants cannot be used with silicone sex toys as they can damage the silicone of the toy. 
Of all the products we sell at Jo Divine, YES organic lubricants are the one we recommend the most. Personally for my husband and myself, it has made sex so much more pleasurable and we don’t have sex without it! I have less vaginal infections, such as thrush, 
bacterial vaginosis and very few urinary tract infections, all of which plagued me monthly until I found YES! 
. 

It is a common misconception that “proper” sex requires intercourse but this can leave  some couples feeling frustrated if they are not able to have full penetrative sex. 
Many HCP s are obsessed with penis in vagina sex (POV), yet there are so many ways to enjoy sexual pleasure and intimacy through non penetrative practices, such as masturbation, mutual genital touching or oral sex. 

When penetrative sex is off the menu, many couples often enjoy a more fulfilling sex life by focusing on the many other ways they can make love, such as mutual masturbation using lubricants, oral sex, using sex toys, reading erotic fiction or watching naughty films, and light bondage. Having to think beyond what is considered “normal sex” can make sex feel more exciting and fun too. However, “normal sex” doesn’t exist, just do whatever feels good for you and have fun doing it! 
Even just spending time together, cuddling, kissing, non coital touching, massage, caring or talking to each other can increase intimacy.
 

Introducing a sex toy into your sex play may seem like a daunting thought but using a sex toy can help you enjoy sexual pleasure and be fun too. Contrary to popular belief, most men aren’t daunted by their partner using a sex toy.  
And you don’t need to choose the biggest sex toy you can find! 
Many clitoral stimulators and slim vibrators offer strong vibratory power and can be slipped between you both during sex play. Using a vibrator on yourself whilst your partner is watching can be incredibly sexy and arousing or let them take control. Many men gain great pleasure from being able to stimulate their partner in this way if full penetrative sex is not possible. 
I suggest you explore using a sex toy by yourself, especially if you have post­op scarring to find out what feels good, where you feel sensitivity or discomfort and to get the right pulse and vibration setting to suit your needs, before letting your partner join the fun, then you can show them exactly where it feels good
. 
We only recommend skin safe products, made from silicone, glass, metal or ABS plastic. Rubber, jelly and latex sex toys should be avoided as they contain chemicals which may be harmful to health and are porous, making then difficult to clean, thus increasing your risk of infection.

Why not treat your partner so you can have fun playing together. Often considered a taboo subject, male sex toys offer great sexual health and pleasure benefits. Some men find that having a partner with womb cancer can affect their own sexual performance due to the fear of hurting their partner during sex or the constant worry about the disease and its treatment. 
Using an external couples toy can help you both enjoy sexual pleasure and stimulation. 
  
As a sexual health and wellbeing writer, I never give up on looking for ways to help people enjoy sexual pleasure and intimacy and neither should you. 
Some of the suggestions above may give you some ideas about how you can improve your sex life. If you’d like further practice help and advice, take a look at the sexual health and pleasure articles in the Jo Divine online magazine. 

If you’d like a catalogue or health brochure, call us a call or email. All parcels and letters come in plain packaging. I am more than happy to give you advice over the phone if you would like a chat. All calls are completely confidential  and your details are never passed onto other companies.
 

I’m Samantha Evans, co­founder with my husband of Jo Divine, online sex toy retailer.  
Established in 2007 we have been advertising in Woman and Home, Good Housekeeping and YOURS magazines, many of whom have sexual health problems which they often tell us about over the phone. 
With a background is nursing, I have written over 300 sexual health and pleasure articles for our online magazine as well as other online websites, such as So Feminine, Female First, Net Doctors, Healthista, the Independent online, Glamour magazine, The Mutton Club, The Daily Express and the Metro. 
I also spoke at the National Forum of Gynaecology Oncology Nurses Survivorship Conference in October 2015 about the health brochure and how these products can help sexual problems that may occur after cancer. 


http://www.jodivine.com/articles/womens-sexual-health/jo-divine-health-brochure


Many thanks to Samantha for this article. We know from what many of our ladies have said that this is an area where there is very little information or support available so hopefully they will find this interesting and useful.

xx Kaz xx

10 Comments

World Cancer Day ........ and beyond.

5/2/2016

3 Comments

 
Yesterday, 4th February, was World Cancer Day and social media was awash with people doing their bit to raise awareness of cancer and coming together from all across the globe to highlight all the latest scientific work being done to tackle this disease.
Today and every day we all need to keep raising awareness and make sure that cancer never leaves the headlines.
Current statistics say that by 2020 1 in 2 people will be affected by cancer – that’s 50% of the population.  Just hold that thought in your head for a moment. If you haven’t already been diagnosed then there is a high probability that you might be.
There are things that can be done to lessen your risk of getting cancer – stopping smoking and drinking; eating healthily and getting exercise but sometimes even the healthiest and fittest people succumb to cancer! If you believe some newspaper articles you might think it was all down to your genes or just “bad luck” but whatever the reason – and there are many complex ones – getting a cancer diagnosis can be a devastating and life changing event.
Getting the right support to help you through your cancer journey can sometimes be hard, especially if you live in an isolated or rural community.
This is where social media has a real role to play in helping bring people together to help them through the tough times.
Many cancers have specific issues that affect patients and very often a “one size fits all” approach doesn’t always work. There are many support groups up and down the country, and online, that support specific cancers and these provide a real lifeline to many cancer patients – and often their families aswell.
When I was diagnosed at the end of 2009 there was no specific womb cancer support  out there so when I started Womb Cancer Support UK in April 2011, I was determined to make it as open and available as possible.
Now, as we approach our 5th Birthday the organisation has grown beyond what I ever imagined. There are over 2,000 likers on the Facebook page and the website is currently getting around 750 hits every week.
The 100 or so women who are part of the private chat group we have,  support each other and are so welcoming when a newly diagnosed lady joins – very often they are in total shock after getting a diagnosis. The ladies offer practical advice and much needed support. After all, we all remember what it felt like when we heard those awful words, no matter how many years ago it may have been.
The support goes hand in hand with the awareness raising we do. Sadly, even though womb cancer is 4th most common female cancer in UK there is no national awareness campaign, and currently no plans for one, from either the UK government or devolved nations.
So we have been working hard over the past few years to raise much needed awareness and so far almost 2,000 of our womb cancer awareness leaflets have gone out around the UK. They can be found in GP surgeries; health centres; pharmacists; libraries; gyms; clinics and even the ladies loo in a nightclub!
Some of our lovely ladies have told their story, either on our website via the blog or to their local papers – some have even been in national media. It all helps to raise the profile of womb cancer and get the word out that it’s a cancer that can affect women of all ages – it’s not just something that affects post-menopausal women.
We have several women who have come to us having been diagnosed in their 20’s and 30’s and this is something that we are trying hard to get out – womb cancer can affect any woman, regardless of her age.
We have a lot more work to do – both in raising awareness and supporting the increasing numbers of women who have been diagnosed – but we’re up for it. I have a group of lovely ladies around me who are as dedicated to the cause as I am and together we will continue to work tirelessly for the greater good.

xx Kaz xx

3 Comments

    Author

    Blog posts about life with womb cancer; by me and other womb cancer fighters and survivors. Plus occasional guest blog posts on relevant subjects.

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Old Posts From Blogger
    Personal Stories

    Archives

    May 2022
    February 2022
    July 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    July 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014




Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.