Doing all the shitty stuff:
Informing our mortgage provider that we are having difficulties and will be struggling to make payments for a while. Contacting my bank and telling them about the situation as I had not been keeping an eye on finances, had gone overdrawn and was been charged for the privilege. Etc.
I speak to my son most days, and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to stay in control. I’ve started texting him late at night to tell him how much I love him.
Back visiting my consultant, Mr A, again. A long wait as he is running very late. He comes out and personally apologises to all of us waiting anxiously in the gynae corridor. Got chatting to a couple of lovely ladies whilst waiting, both a lot older than me. One had had an hysterectomy the previous year for cervical cancer and was very re-assuring. The other lady’s cancer was inoperable and she was undergoing intensive chemotherapy which must be very hard for her and her husband (both in their 80s).
Another younger lady sat a few chairs away and did not join in with our conversation. She looked pale, very worried and alone. I made the effort to involve her and she hesitantly joined in. After she had seen the consultant, she stopped on the way out and we chatted a little more. She was extremely anxious and shaken, and needed more tests to try and determine what the problem was exactly. My turn next, but we quickly exchanged FB details before I went in.
Mr A has the results. Well the MRI results, he holds up a blank sheet of paper for my chest X-ray results. He asks if I’ve had the X-ray. I explain I had it at the hospital immediately after the MRI. The cancer nurse frantically searches the computer system for the missing results. Got them. My chest is fine, (far too large for my liking). Mr A tells me the MRI looks promising, but all images have a limit to their accuracy. They will not know for sure if the cancer has breached the uterus until they get in there to slice and dice. He goes through the operational procedure that his Wednesday Boys will be performing and explains about the additional cavity wash and biopsies that will be performed. The 3 weeks wait for the results of these test I’m sure will seem like an eternity. Damn, I forgot to ask to see the MRI images, I’ll have to mention them next time and see if I can get a copy of these too; I’m sure they’ll make an interesting, artistic display for the sitting room!!
My husband is so relieved, you’d think I’d had the op and the all clear already.