Getting a cancer diagnosis hits you like a brick in the face; it turns your whole world upside down in a split second - those words "I'm sorry, but its cancer" seem to hang in the air for far longer than they should!
Being diagnosed with cancer is probably one of the worse things that can happen to anyone - ask most people and that would be their number one fear!
It puts you on a rollercoaster that never seems to stop.
Having been there and done that, so to speak I thought I was toughened up by cancer, but sadly not.
There is only one thing worse that getting a cancer diagnosis - and that's having a close family member be diagnosed, especially if its a rare, seemingly inoperable cancer!
That's what has happened to me this week.
I felt like I had lost control of my life when I stepped aboard that rollercoaster nearly 4 years ago but its even worse now. To feel so helpless and unable to take away the pain is unbearable. I would rather go through it again myself than see someone I love go through it.
There will be dark days ahead, and many trips on that rollercoaster for everyone in the family, but we will get through this.
I just wish cancer would f**k off and leave us alone.
xx Kaz xx