"I was diagnosed with womb cancer in December 2010, after a harrowing experience of being rushed to hospital by ambulance, haemorrhaging severely. I stopped breathing because I was haemorrhaging so badly; I was 35 years old.
I lay in A&E thinking I was going to die for sure. I had oxygen on, and they were pushing fluids into me through an I.V. drip. I don't remember stopping breathing only that it suddenly became very difficult to breathe.
When they got me stabilised I was transferred upstairs to the Gynae Ward, where I had my own room with a loo! The nurses were amazing. I'm such a private person; having nurses clean me in such a private area, I found extremely embarrassing. I suddenly got some severe pains in my abdomen. I told them I felt like a really needed to pee but couldn't. They checked how much fluid I had in my bladder with a scanner and it showed it to be full. My bladder had gone into shock, so I was catheterised - another extremely embarrassing moment. But the instant relief when it was in was worth the embarrassment. I was prescribed 2 drugs to stop the bleeding -Tranexamic Acid and Norethisterone. I was told my haemoglobin was dangerously low and I would need several blood transfusions. A few days later I had a D&C under general anaesthetic to scrape the womb clean and stem the bleeding. But what I didn't know was everything they took away was malignant.
On the day I was diagnosed I was ill when I woke up with fear, I had hardly slept. I went to the hospital with my Mam and Dad, I think deep down I knew what they were going to tell me after I received a phone call from my consultants secretary asking if I could attend the hospital a few days later to see him. It was as I had feared, I had cancer. My consultant told me they only way of ensuring they got all of the cancer was to do a total hysterectomy. He introduced me to my Oncology Nurse who would explain more to me. To be honest I wasn't hearing a word anyone was saying to me I just felt totally numb. But she was lovely and explained I would see her for 5 years after my hysterectomy because I was very young to have this type of cancer, it's usually found in menopausal women.
I wasn't sure how I would tell my only sister, and I kept thinking would I live to see her little boy, my nephew, who I idolise, grow up.
So on 30th December 2010 I had a total hysterectomy, I went in to heart failure twice while in theatre, so a 2 hour operation took nearly 6 hours. I expected to be quite ill when I woke up as I know a lot of people who had had hysterectomys, and they had problems walking or standing up straight. The nurses on the ward (who I already knew quite well from when I was in after being rushed in) were astounded at how well I was moving about, bearing in mind I had been in heart failure twice during the operation. I had no pain, could walk standing upright (I was told some women walk like their tummies are stapled to their knees).
I was told I couldn't have HRT because I had a hormone based cancer, so I was thrown into menopause pretty much straight away. I had a hard time coping with the different things menopause causes.
It's now May 2014. Life has been difficult, I won't lie. The hot flushes are horrendous, I suffer worse with them in the summer. When the weather is hotter and mix in the hot flushes, I feel sometimes like I might combust I get so hot. I'm taking Oil of Evening Primrose capsules everyday.
What I have the most difficulty with is that fact I cannot have children anymore. I had none before my hysterectomy, and obviously couldn't have after. I struggled for a long time and still am if I'm honest. I had counselling for almost two years, as it got severely depressed about 6 months after my operation. My counsellor told me that it's different me choosing not to have children, then having that decision taken away from me. It's almost like grieving for a child I would never have.
I find difficulty in getting people who have children and grandchildren to understand how heartbreaking it is to watch someone with their child at their first birthday, the first time they walk, talk, first Christmas, first day if school. Knowing I will never experience that.
I still see my Oncology Nurse regularly and so far everything is good."